Why we should feel sorry for tech support people

Windows?
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows."
The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."

The letter P
Tech Support:
- OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer:
- I don't have a 'P'.
Tech Support:
- On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:
- What do you mean?"
Tech Support:
- 'P' on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:
- I'm not going to do that!

Mouse
Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer:
- I'd like a mouse mat, please.
Salesperson:
- Certainly sir, we've got a large variety.
Customer:
- But will they be compatible with my computer?

Fax
I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.

Internet (1)
Customer:
- Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?

Internet (2)
I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that start something like this:
Customer:
- Hi. Is this the Internet?

Internet (3)
Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to "The Internet."

Internet (4)
Customer:
- So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?
Tech Support:
- Yeah
Customer:
- And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?
Tech Support:
- Uhh...uh...uh...yeah.

Icons
Tech Support:
- All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon.
Customer:
- That's why I hate this Windows, because of the icons, I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons.
Tech Support:
- Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to --
Customer:
I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe icons.
Tech Support:
Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?
Customer:
- [CLICK]

It crashed!
Customer:
- My computer crashed!
Tech Support:
- It crashed?
Customer:
-Yeah, it won't let me play my game.
Tech Support:
- All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot.
Customer:
- No, it didn't crash -- it crashed.
Tech Support:
- Huh?
Customer:
- I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work.
Tech Support:
- Click on 'File,' then 'New Game'.
Customer:
- [pause] Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?

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